Somewhat Over-Zealous Law-Making

Samosa Template was the first person in the United Kingdom convicted of the crime of attempting to use a spanner in a manner likely to cause a breach of the peace whilst endangering the life of a parakeet with undue use of a roll of sellotape.

Now there are some that say that the post-1997 Labour government is somewhat over-zealous in the amount of new laws it puts on the statute book, usually several a week, most of which are never used. However, the case of Samosa Template demonstrates that if you make enough laws then – sooner or later – one of them is quite likely to be broken eventually.

‘This goes to show…’ says the one remaining supporter of this government not yet sectioned under the mental health act:

…that there is a whole new potential criminal class, far beyond the traditional low-end traditional criminal classes that previous governments have ignored by not making enough things illegal.

She goes on to say:

What is more these people formerly un-criminalised usually have jobs, houses and so forth which makes them worth the bother of fining, because in most cases they can actually pay the fines without having to commit even more crimes in order to pay that fine.

She also points out, while foaming slightly at the mouth:

What is more, the amount of laws introduced by this government means that there have had to be several thousand more employees added to the payrolls of national and local government to enforce these laws, administer them and collect the fines, thus massively increasing the number of potential Labour voters.

For, as the New Labour philosophy has it, society is to blame for its own malaises, and, therefore, if everyone is a member of society, then everyone is guilty. It only then becomes a matter of finding something they are guilty of, making it illegal and then fining them accordingly.