Endangered Species Conservation Plans

Following confirmation that a scheme has been set up in Wales to attempt to preserve red squirrels, a similar scheme has been announced in an attempt to preserve what will remain of the UK Labour party after the forthcoming election. Plans have been put forward to set out a special Labour Party sanctuary somewhere deep in Mid-Wales where whatever remains of the Labour party after the election can be kept safe, especially from their most fearsome predator the mobs of angry and disillusioned voters.

A spokeswoman for the scheme said:

The UK Labour party has a long and distinguis… a… er… long… history…. Well, let’s just say that it has been around for quite a while and there are many… some… well, a few people who would like to make sure that the Labour party doesn’t go completely extinct, if we can avoid it.

Political conservationists point out that Wales is an almost ideal habitat for an endangered species like the Labour Party, pointing to the fact that the principality has had a breeding pair of Kinnocks living there for several decades.

Supporters of the scheme also point out that having a special reserve for the Labour Party means that it will unable to do anywhere near as much damage to the rest of the UK - when allowed to run wild and unchecked - as it has in the last decade or so. Conservationists also point out that in a Labour sanctuary, the party will be able to tax each other into penury and pass as much spurious ‘Equality’ legislation as they like without causing undue damage to a the rest of the British Isles.

However, some critics have expressed concern about what would happen to the surrounding countryside if, say, a Harman was allowed to escape from the sanctuary. As one local resident pointed out:

I’ve seen Jurassic Park; I know what can happen if these creatures get out of control. I have young children, what if Ed Balls escapes and tries to interfere in their education?

However, one political naturalist countered:

Political parties should be allowed to go extinct; it serves no real purpose keeping them alive beyond their natural life span in these artificial reserves. The Labour party, in fact, socialism as a whole, we now see was a complete evolutionary dead-end. So, keeping the party alive is just cruel; especially as their natural habitat – the old polytechnic social science departments – no longer exist, at least not in the form that would encourage any new growth of Left-wing ideology.