Labour Critic Calls For Return To Golden Age

‘Labour are on course to win the next election,’ said a former Cabinet Minister and one-time lead vocalist with Mud, ‘as politics has reverted back to the 1970s.’

 

 

He went on to say that the Left’s ‘Regressive agenda’ was the only way to return Britain to the 1970s, and that the popularity of TV programmes like ‘Life On Mars’ showed that the British people were desperate to return to the days of beige tank tops, flock wallpaper and three-day weeks, and the Labour party was the only political party capable of turning back the clocks to that golden age.

He added:

The centre of gravity of British politics has shifted back to the 1970s, just like me. The Conservatives pretend to be regressive, harking back to the days of Thatcher, but it is only the Labour party that can turn back the clock to those true days of the 1970s.

For it was back in the 1970s that someone could describe the Left as ‘progressive’ without people falling about laughing like a drain. Most people, even some on the Left, have now realised that Left-wing ideology is not ‘progressive’ at all, but actually regressive, holding people back, holding people down, forcing them to behave in ways dictated from the centre in ways which a medieval absolute monarch would regard as a bit over the top, censoring their every thought and censuring their every act, rather than setting them free in an equal and fair society as Left-wing ideology once so blithely promised.

So, we need to go back to the 1970s, back to when the Left seemed – to some – credible. Back to those days when people thought that socialism was a good idea, times when Left-wing ideology was not regarded as morally bankrupt, an intellectually barren dead-end and a complete and utter failure at everything it has ever attempted to achieve.

We must always remember it is only the Left that can use identity politics to fix people into groupings competing against each other for greater victim status and therefore special treatment to make them more equal than every other officially recognised and sanctioned ‘minority’ grouping.

It is only the Left that can construct a massively intrusive, overwhelming – but at the same time, hopelessly incompetent – giant state bureaucracy that intrudes into the minutia of everyone’s ordinary daily life.

Most of all though, it is only Labour who can completely fuck up the UK economy to an extent not seen since those golden days of the 1970s, and it is only a Labour government that can pass the necessary legislation to make flowery-patterned shirts with enormous collars fashionable once again.