There are now several Small Independent Donkey Hopscotch Unawareness Inspectorates now setting themselves up in readiness for the new EU ruling which will mandate compulsory hopscotch provision for donkeys throughout the EU.
Of course, it goes without saying that, unlike several other European countries, such as Belgium and… er… some of the other ones, the UK has no great tradition of donkey hopscotch, not even in Luton.
However, with UK governments of all political stripes, as well as the Liberal Democrats, seemingly so keen on continuing further integration with Europe, it seems soon we will have donkey hopscotch drop-in centres appearing throughout our town centres and the aforesaid Small Independent Donkey Hopscotch Unawareness Inspectorates arranging visits to our homes in order to see what arrangements we each have made for any donkeys in our vicinity who wish to play hopscotch on our premises.
Of course, those of us with young children, girls especially, may already have an informal hopscotch grid already marked out somewhere around our house, or quite possibly in the street outside. However, very few of us will have made any effort – as yet - to ensure that the grid is fully donkey-friendly.
For example, how any of us have a supply of fresh hay within easy reach of our hopscotch grids? Or, for that matter, a convenient hitching rail nearby? All of which need to be in place by the time of the London Olympics in 2012, as decreed by the EU.
Otherwise those of us found to be in contravention of the directive will be fined by the European Court of Human Rights (Donkey Annexe) anything up to 5 million Euros (nearly 35p at the current exchange rate) for each offence.
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