Pluto ‘Turning Red’

According to NASA scientists, studying images taken by the Hubble Space telescope, the Sun’s furthermost orbiting dwarf planet, Pluto, is turning an increasing shade of red.

Sources close to the UK’s Labour government have, therefore, confirmed that senior figures within the Labour party are now trying to convince the party’s embattled leader, the UK PM Gordon Brown, that becoming Prime Minister of Pluto would be the ideal career move for him.

A Labour party spokeswoman said:

As Pluto is now turning red then it seems quite obvious that it would now broadly welcome the kind of Old-Labour bureaucratic centralised state socialism that we know - deep down – Gordon Brown much prefers to having pretend to like business, enterprise and initiative.

Furthermore, as we know, the people’s Prime Menta… Minister, Gordon Brown, has already saved the world once; so,we feel that the time is right for him, and several members of his cabinet, to take on new, greater, challenges. Hopefully, he will go before we get completely wiped ou… get royally screwe… get returned to power with a somewhat reduced majority… er… which while obviously not Gordon’s fault at all… no… no... no….

Hang on, I’ve just seen him pick up a mobile phone… er… got to go…. Bye!

Ooooh shiiiit!

Everybody… duck!

Sources near the top of the Labour government have also pointed out that as there are far less people on Pluto then Gordon Brown would automatically become much less unpopular than he is in the UK. Those same sources also – rather gleefully – pointed out that according to the NASA study there is no sign of any ‘equality’ legislation on Pluto whatsoever, therefore they were more than certain that the planet would eagerly welcome ‘Dirty’ Harriet Harman and all her many initiatives.

The BBC political editor, speaking live from his kennel outside 10 Downing Street, said:

In the recent past, as their poll ratings plummeted, senior Labour party figures have tried to get Gordon Brown to take over the premiership of that other - more traditional - red planet Mars. However, an opinion poll showed that even the Mars Rover thought Gordon Brown was the worst PM in British history, and, consequently, would never even consider voting for him.

Obviously, Lord Dick Dastardly of Foy tried to persuade the PM that the Mars poll was just a blip, but even Gordon Brown wouldn’t believe that.

So, even though there is some doubt that the Prime Minister can be persuaded to take up this new challenge, there is one fact about Pluto that could make him change his mind, and that is the fact that Pluto’s orbit of the sun takes 248 years, therefore Gordon Brown would not have to face an election for well over a thousand standard Earth years.