The UK’s crime tsar today claimed that a small number of people were responsible for causing most of the social problems in the country. The tsar, Catherine Nottobadconsidering, said she had identified a core of around 650 major troublemakers who were responsible for most of the breakdown in society over the post-war decades.
Catherine Nottobadconsidering said:
The 650, who operate mainly from a central London hideout are split into rival gangs, with the two largest gangs vying with each other to takes turns in causing mayhem throughout the country with each constantly trying to take over the other’s turf and attack each other’s supporters.
Furthermore, my report demonstrates how these main two rival gangs, from their criminal hideout on the bank of the river Thames, have through their constant battling destroyed much of the UK’s traditional societal values and have extorted vast amounts of tax payer’s money to spend on self-aggrandising projects that often cause great harm, or even destruction, to huge swathes of British society.
Nottobadconsidering’s report went on to say:
It seems that if the UK wants to make any progress as a society we will have no alternative but to find some way of removing the influence of these self-styled ‘politicians’ that blight our country, and find some way of neutralising the effect their anti-social behaviour has on the rest of us, right from the smallest claim for biscuits ‘on expenses’ right up to the massive ‘government projects’, such as the infamous ‘ID cards’ scam.
Such acts of cultural vandalism are set to cost us billions of pounds that none of us can afford to have stolen from us any longer by these criminal gangs. Consequently, it is time that these gangs, especially the two causing the most havoc, are disbanded and their members taken into custody.
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