Call For End To ‘Anti-Religious’ Hostility

The Council of Righteous Uttabollux Dhaftghits today echoed the sentiments of some other religious organisations in the UK.

A CRUD spokesman said:

We too, have suffered discrimination and hostility because of our religion and – consequently – we urge the UK government to enact legislation as soon as possible to force people to like us, whether they want to or not.

For some reason our beliefs seem to make other people hostile towards us and our way of life. Just because we believe that a woman should spend her entire life within the confines of a cardboard box in order not to tempt men into evil thoughts of a sexual nature, and that we insist on either stoning to death, or setting fire to, anyone who even slightly disagrees with us, people seem to take against us. Quite simply, we cannot understand it.

When asked about the situation, a government minister said:

You want more new laws! Lovely, great. We’ll get on to that as soon as we can. Obviously we are doing our best to make everything we can’t tax, illegal, but there are only a limited amount of legislative hours available to the government, and no matter how half-arsed, or even downright incompetent we are about framing the laws, we still occasionally quite simple run out of time. Quite soon too, there has to be an election we’ll need to stitch u… er… win, which will also have an effect on how many new laws we can introduce over the next few months. Er… what was it you said we need to make illegal now, then?

However, a man, who did not wish to be identified, who had some strict Uttabolluxers recently move in to the house next door, said:

I don’t care what religion they are. Live and let live, that’s my motto. However, his wife seems to have no end of trouble hanging out their washing from inside her cardboard box.

Still, anyway, just to be sociable, a good neighbour, like, I went round there and asked him if he fancied coming out for a pint, get to know each other, like, and then maybe we could go on to check out the new lap dancing club in the town centre. But he just glared at me and slammed the door in my face. That’s not very neighbourly, is it?