Google+ A Tangled Rope: When Celebrities Do… Stuff!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

When Celebrities Do… Stuff!

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When Celebrities Do…Stuff! The outrageous new TV series brought to you by the person who fetched the sandwiches for the production team that made so many other celebrity and reality dirt-cheap brain-dead TV programmes like: Celebrity Nose-Pickings Exposed!, Real Ordinary People Doing Embarrassing Stuff On TV, Celebrity Test Card Trials, Hermit Idol and many, many others.

When Celebrities Do…Stuff! The NEW shocking exposé of just how dull tedious and futile life as a vacuous celebrity REALLY IS.

GASP as you see live-action film of celebrities cleaning their own teeth!

WONDER as you see them trying to do the most trivial tasks - like make a cup of tea - for themselves WITHOUT the aid of a lifestyle coach.

STARE in INCOMPREHENSION as you watch them try to make sense of even the most trivial and mundane articles in celebrity magazines and watch, then fail to understand, the items on the thinly-disguised empty gossip shows that masquerade as news bulletins on their TV channels of choice.

SCRATCH YOUR BUM AND STAR AROUND THE ROOM IN SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED BOREDOM as they witter on endlessly about surviving an allegedly-traumatising childhood in the obscure hope that this will somehow justify to the couch potatoes too stupid to stop watching that the so-called celebrity deserves this life of fame, riches and pampered comfort.

CURSE as you FRANTICALLY paw through your TV listing mag, in the increasingly forlorn hope of finding a single programme that isn't Celebrity this, or Reality that, or some form of lifestyle-porn.

SMILE IN BLISS as you - finally, in desperation - hit the OFF button and discover that not only is life WITHOUT a constantly blaring TV in the corner actually possible, but it is somehow actually better and far more deeply satisfying than you could have ever believed.

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