Survey Of ‘British Social Attitudes’ Published

The People of the UK, it seems, are more and more coming to the conclusion that there is little point in voting for yet another self-serving, self-enriching political opportunist to ignore the wishes, wants and needs of their constituents in order to inch their way further up the greasy pole of political careerism.

The Telling You You’re An Abnormal Weirdo Oddball Freak For Even Thinking That survey, by the National Office for Pretty But Meaningless Graphs, questioned a number of people about their political and social views in various pubs and in the streets around the NOPBMG offices one slow Friday afternoon at the end of last year.

In politics, according to the survey, it seems that – for some reason the BBC finds hard to fathom – the majority of people have turned against the idea of the government constantly taking more and more of their hard-earned money to piss up the wall on projects that seem always to make things worse rather than better.

Unfortunately though, the survey discovered that the overwhelming majority of people still wanted to be sheep, following someone else and being told what to think, rather than working it out for themselves.

However, it seems people’s attitudes towards politicians seems to have become much more realistic, where a strangely massive 2% of the population still apparently believe that politicians are not in it for personal enrichment, self-aggrandisement, over-inflated ego, or the desire for top class naughtiness of the flesh.

In social attitudes, the survey suggests there has also been a decrease in the number of over-opinionated busybodies who think that what other freely-consenting adults do with their genitalia is any of their business.

Other statistics are less surprising:

Apparently nearly 65% of British people believe that aliens are from another planet.

Over 70% of British people think that Princess Diana was - quite possibly – female.

According to the survey too, just under 75% of UK citizens believe they have a head, while the overwhelming majority of the over-55s like to point at ducks.

 

The Telling You You’re An Abnormal Weirdo Oddball Freak For Even Thinking That survey, was produced by the National Office for Pretty But Meaningless Graphs and was commissioned by the UK government, using your money.