The UK government has today decided to go it alone in setting up a No-Fly Zone in Libya in an attempt to aid those forces opposing the autocratic rule of Colonel Ga-Daffy Duck.
A spokesperson for the UK foreign office said:
As we all know from our holidays abroad, these hot countries are often heavily plagued by flies, so anything we can do to assist the opposition forces by helping them get rid of the flies will – I’m sure – be a great help to them. Senior members of the armed forces have assured me there is nothing quite as annoying as having a fly buzzing around your head when you are trying to take out an enemy soldier, especially at long range.
Therefore, we are sure we could stretch out the defence budget enough to afford a can or two of fly spray for the rebel forces. Although, our main intention is to unload… er… donate a few thousand fly swatters, we have left over in a cupboard in the Foreign Office from the days of Empire, to the noble insurgents.
Britain had hoped to get France to assist with the no-fly zone as the UK government felt France’s long experience of poor sanitation and its casual approach to personal hygiene would prove invaluable in combating the menace of the flies. There is also the possibility that the US president may decide, or not, to possibly think about considering whether to make up his mind whether, or not, to send some assistance to the No-Fly Zone, or not, by sending some high-technology fly-zappers to the troubled country, or not.
However, many critics of the US president’s possible decision have pointed out that such high-tech anti-fly technology may be of little use in a country like Libya with its poor infrastructure and wide desert spaces which offer few places to plug in, or even hang, such high-tech fly zappers.
Should the No-Fly Zone prove successful the UK Prime Minister has promised to set up an inquiry to see whether a No-Wasp Zone could be put in place over the summer months in the UK’s beauty spots, picnic areas, parks and children’s playgrounds, with the PM saying:
We are all in this together, and those bloody wasps are annoying little buggers at the best of times.
The Foreign Secretary, William Hague added:
Hey up, do you want to see my mojo?
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