Always make sure your cheese sandwich has been moved to a place of safety before the characters of dubious merit, worth and probity have been allowed into the room. However, it is still wise to check occasionally upon its well-being until the area has been declared fully politician-free by the relevant experts before you can feel safe enough to reveal the whereabouts of the aforesaid sandwich.
Of course, not all politicians are mendacious, self-serving, self-important egos on legs, or so they would have us believe. Nevertheless, think very carefully before you leave anything you value, such as your cheese sandwich, alone in a room with one.
Politics has – of course – been described as ‘the art of getting on as many people’s tits as possible without really trying,’ and we all know that feeling of deep despair in the pit of the stomach when it seems our very TVs are about to be taken over by yet more of their useless, pompous wittering. Forcing us to endure the mind-melt of politics instead of TV’s standard fare, such as the fine intellectual stimulation of showing us people attempting to be better than some random collection of egocentrics at cooking the sort of stuff that no-one in their right mind would want to eat. However, even that is better than politicians smugly scoring ‘political points’ off each other by telling each other stuff that they think we would like to hear. rather than just getting on with making sure our bins are emptied, our old and infirm looked after and our streets kept safe, all while you search the room for that cheese sandwich you are certain you came in with.
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