Now I don’t know if you have ever put your favourite spanner back on its display shelf and wondered to yourself if your life is all that it should be, but then I haven’t read your file in over a fortnight. That is not since the report of that incident with the Norwegian wicket keeper out on the local park when just why you were carrying a hardback world atlas and a stick of celery was – to my mind – never adequately explained in the subsequent police investigation.
Now, we all have our favourite spanners, but there is little of that prejudice over the relative merits of the ring to the open-ended spanner, and even – to some there are aesthetic qualities to the adjustable spanner that set them above all others. However, such… such... deviant thoughts should not, ought not, detain us here. It is best, probably, that we leave such aficionados with such dubious tastes out of our consideration, at least for the time being…. That is until we can find a spoon and a suitably-strong anteater anyway.
Anyway, as I was saying, before we got distracted by all these jars of three-fruit marmalade, don’t worry about other people’s opinions of your spanner, in the long run it does not matter if they find your choice of an old ¾” ring-spanner to be old-fashioned. Just sit there, by yourself, on the chair positioned to get the best view of that – your favourite – spanner in its display case and think back to all those tremendously exciting nuts that you loosened together, perhaps occasionally needing a quick squirt of WD40 just to get a bit of lubrication in there, and smile.
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