Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a land where a Naughty Man lived. This Naughty Man was very naughty indeed and did lots and lots of things that were very naughty. Some of them were so naughty they’d make a politician blush and the rest of the things were covered by an injunction to stop people talking about them, even in fairy tales, and against warning each other about just how naughty the Naughty Man was.

However, there was a Brave Man who lived in the land where the Naughty Man lived. You could tell he was brave because he was handsome and we know that in fairy tales brave men are handsome and handsome men are brave – that is how we can tell it is a fairy tale.

Well, that… and the beautiful princesses.

Anyway, the Brave (and Handsome) Man decided to take arms against the very Naughty Man, and stop him being so naughty, and at the same time revoke the injunction the Naughty Man had taken out to prevent people finding out how very naughty he’d been, especially in rather a rude way with the wife of an associate of his.

The only problem was that the Brave Man, despite being both brave and handsome, was not all that bright. So, when in a seedy tavern on the naughty side of town, he met a Pretty Maiden who said she could show him a secret way to get to the heart of the Naughty Man’s heavily guarded mansion, he believed her. Especially after she had done that thing with her lips, mouth and fingers to his special place that had made him go all tingly inside.

So the Brave, Handsome (but very stupid, but still quite tingly) Man followed the very Pretty Maiden down a narrow dark alleyway between tall dark brooding buildings in the very naughtiest part of town. Where, suddenly, several large men, paid by the very Naughty Man, jumped on him and beat the crap out of him, then throwing his lifeless corpse in the nearby river, before going back to the Naughty Man and each receiving several bags of gold and a very special kiss from the Pretty Maiden for their trouble.

Therefore, the moral to this little story is don’t expect justice and a happy ending from this world, because if you do you are living in a fairy tale.