Wonders of the World

Of course, you may place your hand upon all the marmosets you hold dear and swear on oath to whatever gods you feel may take some kind of interest in you and your welfare, that you have never disparaged any cheese, or made desultory remarks about someone’s toasting technique. But, if we are at all honest we must admit, even though it shames us to our very core, that cheese on toast is sometimes not enough.

Sometimes, and though this may anger those very gods you so recently swore an oath to and set your marmosets all atremble with the very mendaciousness of your stance, sometimes – as I said – the cheese on toast is not enough.

Cheese is – of course – one of the truly great wonders of humankind. You can keep all your great buildings and your insightful philosophies and so many other alleged achievements of mankind, but all of them are but dust when compared to a nice piece of cheese.

Toast is – as we all know – the very food of the gods. It is one of the most wonderful things that one can do to a piece of bread, up to and including placing two slices of fresh thick white sliced on the naked flanks of the Five-A-Day Co-Ordinator of your dreams, and even thickly-buttering a warm oven-fresh bap.

Consequently, then, a marriage of the two – the cheese and the toast – should be a marriage made in heaven itself. In so many cases it is and there could be nothing more desired in the wanting of, or as appreciated as in the consumption thereof, than the cheese on toast of which we now speak.

Sometimes though… just sometimes… it is not enough.

So… if you don’t mind, I’ll have a bacon sandwich instead.