Archbishop: Religion Isn’t Taken Seriously

[Archbishop Wonders Why People Don’t Take Him Seriously]

Over the weekend, a man who apparently likes dressing up as a fantasy wizard at weekends complained that people were not taking him and his made-up imaginary sky-deity chum seriously enough.

In an interview in The Daily Timewarp the archbishop said:

It’s not fair, no-one takes us seriously, not any more, not since we lost the power to set people on fire for believing something, even slightly, different to what we wanted them to believe.

Look at all the places where religion is taken seriously, The Middle East, Northern Island and so on. As soon as people take it seriously they start getting violent with each other over it. Even in America where show business is religion and religion is show business, there are people who take it seriously enough to kill others over it. Even Nazism in WWII Germany and communism elsewhere last century, which both tried to set themselves up as ideological religions managed to kill millions. While the closest we can get to killing someone over religion is the Home-Baked Cake stall on the church jumble sale.

So, you see as soon as people stop caring about religion enough to kill each other over it, they realise what a joke it all is and stop taking it seriously.

Look at me, even, I’m sure the only reason I got this job was because people thought I looked like a cross between Terry Pratchett himself and one of his Discworld wizards, especially when I’m in costume.

Ever since we started with this hippie peace and love and redemption stuff that seemed so groovy back in the 60s, people have stopped taking us seriously. It looks like if we are going to get any of that respect back we are going to have to start doing a bit of righteous smiting.

So, it seems the only way we can start been taken seriously again is if we start setting fire to those who don’t believe exactly what we want them to believe. So, at the next parish raffle for the repair of the church roof prepare yourself for the smell of roasting heretic.