Celebrity News

These days the name of Smorgasbord Impetigo - heiress to the Impetigo chain of burger bars and infamous girl about town - is on everyone's lips. It was revealed yesterday to an almost indifferent world that the once briefly-notorious 'stolen' homemade video of Smorgasbord and the two Swedish plumbers playing - at least, initially - strip-chess in a Macclesfield Hotel's penthouse suite has now become the most downloaded item on the internet over the last several years running, despite the number of videos available that show cats falling off things in slightly amusing ways that usually top such charts.

Although sexually-explicit enough to be a gynaecological instruction film, the Impetigo video is par for the course for the young Smorgasbord. Despite being only nineteen years old (albeit for several years now), Smorgasbord has been a fixture of the celebrity gossip magazines for many years. It seems that almost every issue of all the magazines routinely feature several photos of Smorgasbord falling out of her clothes at film premieres, club openings, fashion shops, 'A list' parties, Coventry chess club meetings and the Macclesfield ‘Tastea’ Biscuit Factory’s annual charabanc trip to Blackpool - in short, all the typical 'A-list' celebrity hot spots and events.

There are - of course - rumours that the 'stolen' video was anything but, and was deliberately released onto the internet with the full knowledge of Impetigo.

There are also rumours that the notorious incident with the traffic warden, the weasel and the custard, and all the other headline incidents, supposed thefts of 'confidential' material, wardrobe malfunctions and other 'accidents' Smorgasbord has been implicated in over the last few years are all similar put-up jobs, all designed to open the way for Impetigo to launch her high-profile media career. It has always been a successful strategy for others with no really discernable talent or ability - not even in the very limited amounts necessary to make it in the media - and there is no reason why it should not work yet again in the future too, for whoever becomes that year's model.