BBC Accused Of Making Dramas

BBC hospital dramas under attack:

A top NHS manager has hit out at what he sees as the unrealistic and unprofessional portrayal of NHS workers in BBC dramas Holby City and Casualty.

A BBC Spokesperson sighed, and then responded:

It is fiction – we make it up.

It is not real.

It needs action. It needs tension, it needs drama. Obviously, in programmes like Casualty and Holby City we try to make that drama as dull and predictable as possible, so that we do not accidentally wake any of our loyal viewers, or cause them to have any thoughts about why they bother watching such soporific mediocrity. However, it seems we need to make them a lot more soporific in future, so we can stupefy all these busybodies with too much time on their hands, who seem to only ever watch TV in order to be offended by something in one of the programmes.

Of course, the main purpose of these dramas, along with all the UK’s soap operas, is to take the majority of Britain’s TV actors out of the dole queues. After all, you never expected to see whatshisname…. you know him out of that film… with her who used to be married to the one out of that advert… y’know the one I mean… in a soap opera, did you?

A retired TV scriptwriter who last had a script accepted back in the days when TV drama was really worth watching, said:

These days everything has to be so politically correct I’m surprised there is any drama allowed at all. No-one is allowed to be a baddie these days in case they ‘negatively stereotype’ a whole section of society. I don’t know how we can make it any more obvious for people to understand it is all pretend. Just because a doctor, who makes mistakes, say, just happens to be – for dramatic purposes - Welsh, that doesn’t mean all Welsh people are incompetent, in-bred sheep-shaggers with a chip the size of Caernarvon castle on their shoulders, does it? Even though, in my experience, they all are.

A NHS nurse we managed to keep awake for long enough to comment, said:

In reality the NHS wants us all to be soulless mindless droids, automatons that have all human feelings and frailties programmed out of us during our training, which these days seems to consist little other than various politically-correct brainwashing courses we all have to pass in order to qualify to fill out the forms we have to complete, instead of actually giving medical care to patients. These TV programmes are so unrealistic, most of us are too busy going on diversity awareness courses and filing out forms to ever actually see a patient, as for ever getting off with a doctor you can forget that, because actually acknowledging anyone else in the hospital as a possible fellow human being is an immediate disciplinary case.