Now you may be the sort of person who dares to leave their ukulele unpolished when demonstrating your reserves of strawberry jam to the mandatory government inspectors, but did you really expect no-one to comment on the state of your knees?
Now I know it is not unusual to have to keep anchovies under your hat when visiting someone who is rumoured to be Welsh, but there is no need to carry a protractor, unless, of course, you are too close to Pwllheli, and your cucumber is not as fresh as the operating instructions demand.
Those of use who fully understand the use of marmalade in an erotic context will by now already be thinking of ways to remove the necessary volumes of the encyclopaedia from underneath the visiting relative.
Therefore, we have now reached that point in our TV viewing schedules where even the prospect of a second cousin, or even an aunt, approaching from downwind has long since ceased to be a prospect that fills one with undue trepidation.
But then, you understand marmalade, so you will already know this.
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