We shall not look upon their like again. This, when all is said and done, is rather a good thing as they were - well… shall we say - one of the less picturesque routes down which evolution had blindly ventured.
Still once we had found a cardboard box large, and sturdy enough, to contain them, it was just a matter of sneaking out deep into the woods at the dead of night and digging a hole deep enough for the aforesaid box. A time and place where we discovered – much to our chagrin – that digging a hole in the dead dark of the night deep in the mordant woods is not quite such an adventure as the films and TV detective programmes would suggest.
Not only that, their screams and pleading as the dirt was heaped back over the securely fastened cardboard box is not something we will easily forget. Nor will we forget their promised offers of rather startling sexual perversions in return for us sparing their rather pointless lives, which will haunt the dark hours of our dreams and nightmares for probably many months to come.
However, moving on to more pertinent, if less illegal matters, it seems that today is World Nothing In Particular Day. This is a day instigated worldwide by the UN, in what they use instead of wisdom, for the leaders of most of the world’s poorest countries to spend what ever international aid they have left over from this year’s budget on nothing in particular. A day when such dictators consider spending their aid donations upon something like another brace of diamond-encrusted solid gold ornamental life-sized helicopters for each of their mistresses, or something equally vital.
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