These days the words will not come, unless the donkey has been well-lubricated. We still laugh at the spanners, but it is nervous laughter now. We know what the eggs will be used for, and what will turn us all into a Hamster of Doom.
Still, that is not what we are here for. It will not help us to wear the necessary ladies underwear, even without the peach and the diving helmet.
Look at that over there!
We do not expect to see such stains on the clean sheets. We are the ones who cannot say the names of our favourite small mammals in mixed company. But we do know the price of heavy-duty axle grease and for what erotic purposes it can be used.
Now you laugh.
Now you cry.
Still I do not go to the shops on Tuesdays.
It is not necessary to wear clothes when you are naked. Even my bank manager is aware of those differences.
"Still," as wise old Norbert Goatdisaster used to say. "It will always rain when the water falls from the sky, and when it is not raining, it doesn't."
These are wise words. Remember them always, my little Cost Accountant.
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