North of the Cornish Pasty

Now, it is not unknown for someone who is not, shall we say, plucking a banjo with a full set of properly-tuned string to know little of non-Euclidian geometry, especially in its relationship to the true (not magnetic) North of the Cornish Pasty. Now, you as a person of the world, familiar with some of the more… er… specialist websites on the interwebtubesnet will no doubt pooh-pooh such a notion as being really – if it is not some modern urban myth-meme – down to the woefully inadequate teaching of both maths and the history of the Cornish pasty in our modern school system.

However, be that as it may, and it may – for why else would I – for one – be wearing these particular trousers on a day like today, but for no other reason than they are a specially-designed pair of pontificating trousers, with an optional reinforced-leather haranguing patch, but that need not detain us too long. That is, unless you would like to peruse the catalogue for a moment while I go and make us both a nice cup of tea.

Of course, you should bear in mind that such a drastic course of action will leave little choice but to enter into a full and frank discussion of what kind of biscuit we would – in an ideal world – like to have with our nice cup of tea, and I hope you are fully trouserly-prepared for that, at least.