The Very Pork Pies of Surprise

Now as the small wizened old accountants begin to chant their mantras of the mislaid tax returns to the star-filed skies, we look askance at the very pork pies of all our desires and wonder… wonder how it could have come to this. We ponder these strange times in which we reside, feeling as somewhat uncomfortable as a sheep who has wandered into a mint field and feel that our very elbows tremble with some unexplainable dread.

It feels as though we are on the cusp of some visit by the wife’s rather peculiar relations, or somesuch nightmarish scenario. Something that would – were all this otherwise – make up the plot of one of those weird films that gets a cult following and several people who you would no doubt do all in your power to avoid if met in some social situation to all come up with their theories as to ‘what it actually means’. It is something that sits rather at odds with your theory that all involved had partaken of too much of that particular season’s hallucinogenic drug of choice. Furthermore, you doubt that anyone involved in the ‘project’ would know anything about the concept of story structure even if you tried to beat it into their pretentious art-school skulls with a large mallet especially fashioned for the purpose out of the thighbone of a film critic.

Anyway, be that as it may, the pork pies were surprisingly nice.