However, while we hold our re-usable shopping bags of destiny at such angles as to demonstrate our devout yearnings, we will never again enter the most holy supermarket of our deepest desires, at least not whilst wearing such unfortunate trouserings as we now habitually don for our adventures into what the poets and the sages call ‘the outside world’. Out there, there are streets aplenty, some of which contain the shops that will sell us all we could ever desire, sometimes at the astounding rate of Two for the Price of One, whilst our very chins tremble with deep joy we have not afore known the wot of amongst such splendid profusion.
Unfortunately, though, the gods of the supermarket looked down with anger upon our attempt to do the traditional naked tango of thanks for such munificence on their part. Therefore, they send down their wrath in the form of the supermarket security guards to remove us from the premises, despite the fact that we have about our persons the store loyalty cards that should prove our devout holiness beyond all doubt.
Such is life though, and as we gather our scattered garments, including the unfortunate trouserings, from the car park where the security guards scattered them, we are left to ponder upon what a cruel religion this can sometimes be. Even as the posters advertising such splendid savings that we could not believe existed, even in this earthly paradise, taunt us with pictures of the goods we will never now possess, so, instead we wander forlornly away and search for somewhere where we can get a nice cup of tea.
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