All Our Aforesaid Trouserings

There is nothing – except the penguins, of course – that is happening at the moment that would make anyone look askance at his or her pontificating trousers and cause them to wonder that the augumenting braces may have slightly too much slack in them. Still, we can only really wonder at the necessity of the Jaffa cakes to all our endeavours and see that although today may not necessarily be Thursday, a trip to the supermarket will always beckon. There to gasp in rapt awe and wonder at their many-tiered displays of baked bean tins may be just the thing to cheer our jaded outlook upon this land and these small squalid times in which our aforesaid trouserings now take place.

However, should we wish to place our pilchards in the most prominent position we can, in order to impress those of the opposite sex for whom we do bear a certain more than fondness, and wish to impress with our supermarket trolley contents. On such occasions there is little more that we can do apart from adopt the pose of one for whom supermarket till queues are but a small inconvenience in our otherwise wonder-filled lives. Lives where we have all the cardboard necessary for a frank and full sex life with little or no necessity for a tea-break part way through the proceedings, or to have to make a brief note as to where we were up to when the tea-break became necessary.