There will come a time when all this begins to make sense. On that day, we will wear kippers in our hair and celebrate our freedom from the tyranny of underwear. I will - at last - see you as naked as nature intended. Apart from the handcuffs, obviously.
You may want to pretend that none of this happened. But it is all there - on video. We have all the evidence we need, especially those stains on the fridge door.
There was a time, not too long ago, when you could have worn the underpants of genius. Instead, you chose to spend your time making copious notes on the sexual behaviour of manila envelopes.
Who am I to say what is a waste of your time? I may have the nipples of an expert, but these are only the toenails of a run-of-the-mill anchovy wrestler.
Do you think?
No? Oh, well. I can’t say I really blame you. These things do tend to make all that effort superfluous.
Still. Can't be helped, eh? Eh? I mean, y'know, and all that.
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