We put it there. Now leave it alone! It may taste like anchovy-flavoured ice-cream, but that doesn't mean you have to spread it all over your inner-thighs, Matilda.
Now, I admit, I may have used your cheese-board in an unnatural act, but that doesn't mean that we can't still be friends, especially in that special way. I know you know that no-one can grate carrots for you the way I can. So, can we still go to Tewksbury together, dressed up as industrial chemists once again, next Tuesday?
I would ask you not to laugh at my tadpoles, Sylvia. I have put them on that shelf for a purpose. We do not expect just any VAT Inspector to enquire about the state of our ironing boards once we do get closer to Bridlington.
I saw her on an early spring morning. The world was coming back to life again. The green tips of living poked free of the dull ground. The leaves were, once more, enrobing the skeletal trees. She was dressed up as a shop assistant, so I did the Dance of the Bewildered Taxidermist around her handbag, which she had placed in the exact centre of my vestibule. Ah, but we would never be so happy ever again.
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