Weightier Matters

So, anyway….

I thought that today we would discuss the strange case of the ordinary piece of string. But, then, I thought I really can't be arsed. So, we won't.

Instead, I thought it would be a good idea for you to take your clothes off for me.

Thank you.

Now, if you would just sit there. No… with your legs open.

Now, sit back and relax.

Right. Now, are you comfortable?

Good.

Now, let us get out the VAT returns. Remember, you are the businesswoman, and I'm the official from HM Customs and Excise who is investigating your VAT returns.

You're shivering, suddenly. It's not cold, is it?

No, I didn't think it was either….

However, after this, it all descends into the usual sordid mix of outrageous sexual perversions that is typical of modern tax accountancy. I'm sure that a reader of your erudition and sophistication will not be all that interested in the crude, and very explicit, detailing of the activities of an adventurous pair of young lovers eager to explore the darkest and secret arts of VAT Returns to the full limits of erotic possibility.

No, I'm sure your mind will be on far weightier matters than this.