Supermarkets and Conversations

So when the okapi enters the supermarket please do not attempt to engage in conversation, especially about its forthcoming holiday plans. Of course, it goes without saying that you should therefore avoid all mention of caravans. However, when approaching a great ape (but not a monkey) it is always advisable to ask about whether they are planning to take a villa in Tuscany as usual this summer. This is all right, as long as you are not in the frozen food aisle, especially in the near vicinity of the ice cream as it is a well-known fact that great apes, gorillas especially, do not like to be distracted when selecting frozen goods, and ice cream in particular. This fact was first discovered by the great naturalist and broadcaster David Attenborough when he attempted to engage in a discussion of the merits of the Ford Escort (as it then was) gearbox with a silverback gorilla in the Congo jungle back in the late 1970s, while the gorilla was trying to choose between vanilla and raspberry ripple. On that occasion, Attenborough was very lucky to escape with his life, when the enraged silverback repeatedly passed the naturalist through the checkout by the neck.

Anyway, I am sure that someone of your shopping experience has no doubt spent many a fascinating few minutes discussing the current state of the weather with a red squirrel near the household cleaning items, or even spent time weighing up the possibilities of England winning the Ashes with a moose in the tinned goods aisle. Therefore, we will leave the matter of the danger of discussing politics with a polar bear while shopping at a DIY superstore for another time.