On Mentioning the Bananas

Of course the bananas, the bananas go without saying. So… please do not mention them again, especially this side of the – approaching faster than you think - Christmas festivities, as it will only make our job here far more difficult than it already is, especially with the current state of the skirting boards.

Now, it often happens in situations like this that someone – no doubt trying to be ‘funny’ – deliberately mentions the bananas and then they act all surprised when all hell breaks loose and the whole edifice we have so carefully and painstakingly constructed here falls about our ears and someone comes away with quite a nasty bruise.

So, don’t say you weren’t warned and do your best to keep all thoughts of bananas – or, to be on the safe side, any fruit whosoever, out of your mind as we go about our task for today.

Of course, it goes without saying that once today is over you can – of course – think about fruit to your heart’s content, you can even utilise the banana in that rather inventive way we all witnessed from the photographic evidence you ex-lover so thoughtfully provided at last year’s Christmas Do. Some who witnessed it said they could never eat another banana again, but for the majority of us, it has made us look at fruit in general - and bananas in particular - in a whole new way.