A shocked Europe last night discovered that its MEPs, and other members of the EU gravy-train, were suffering from extreme poverty and urgently needed even more of their people’s money if they are not to stave of the tragedy of the EU not being able to meet the vital expenses claims of its MEPs.
In a last-minute fraught plea to help raise these vital funds, Celebrity Moaner Bob Gelded, has urged the people of the EU to give the ‘desperate’ EU another umpteen billions of their hard-earned money.
As Gelded said, using a fresh onion to wipe a tear from his eye:
Some of these poor MEPs are having to make do with lying between the honeyed thighs of only one or two ‘research assistants at a time, and, horror of horrors, they can only afford to have gold-plated fixtures and fittings in the EU parliament’s toilets. I personally know several distraught MEPs who haven’t been on a ‘fact-finding mission’ to a top Bangkok ladyboy brothel for over six months.
These people are desperate; give them all your fucking money now!
Also, Bonio, lead mouth with some other superannuated rock annoyance has vowed that unless the people of Europe pay up to keep his political pals from the EU gravy-train in fresh well-oiled Strasbourgian whores, he will have no choice but to wheel his band out and make them do gigs in several European capitals until the people finally do pay up, just to get the to shut up and piss off.
A spokesperson for the EU parliament dismissed widespread claims that the EU parliament is just a pointless talking shop that makes up absurd rules and regulations for the EU, just to give itself something to do.
However, the EU parliament claims that it urgently needs the extra money in order to develop yet more rules that will guarantee a standard European penguin for all the people of the EU region.
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