It’s a Conspiracy

It has long been thought - especially by those with an over-vivid imagination, a persecution complex and too much time on their hands - that things in the world are not always as they seem to be. In short, many people seem to believe that there are – out there – conspiracies by the rich, the powerful and others with a vested interest to make things appear different to the way they really are.

Of course, such people are quite reasonable dismissed as nutters and lunatics, mostly in want of a girlfriend. However, now things have changed.

For, it was revealed yesterday that there is – indeed - a secret cabal of hidden departments in most Western governments who do create these conspiracies.

In the past these departments would concentrate on creating conspiracies mainly for their domestic markets in order to divert attention away from the latest governmental cock-up, but in these days of the internet and global media increasingly the conspiracy theories are created for an international audience.

These national government departments were set up in a off-the-record meeting between the governments that make up what is now called the G7 group of countries back in the mid 1970s.

These governments had – eventually – all come to the conclusion that they needed something, anything, to divert attention of their peoples away from noticing the inherent incompetence of governments; governments who dared not admit they had no idea what was going on, and – even if they did – they had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Now, though, through the auspices of the most recent secret G7 meeting several western governments have decided to merge the efforts of their – sometimes competing – Conspiracy Departments to manufacture conspiracy theories that will encompass several governments and countries at once. This is a direct result of the humongous cock-ups now commonly known as the Iraq war, and the continuing Afghanistan debacle. These events, or series of disasters, has shown up the major players in this farrago to be a useless bunch of incompetents who could not organise a glimpse of naked flesh in a strip club, whist the governments who have replaced the original bunch of incompetent idiots have – so far – proved that – if anything – they have even less idea of what is going on and absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Consequently – as a matter of urgency all the G7’s Conspiracy Theory departments have been ordered to work together – flat-out – to develop a conspiracy theory that will transfix the populations of all the countries involved, in order to divert the attention of those populations away from the increasingly obvious fact that their governments are, have been, and always will be, completely and utterly useless, out of their depth and totally lacking of any kind of clue whatsoever, and that inventing politics so that these utterly clueless self-aggrandising idiots would leave the rest of us alone has been a complete failure.