Over the weekend, former Labour Deputy Leader, Lord Prescott of Steak and Kidney, warned that the Labour party could soon run out of the money to keep him in pies.
He warned that as membership of the party was falling through the floor, the Labour party could now only afford to provide him with ‘less that 20 pies a day’, and that if more was not done to attract new funding the entire parliamentary Labour party could be forced to take up busking on Westminster street corners in order to stave off bankruptcy.
The former Deputy Prime Minister also warned:
Just think what will happen if David Millipede becomes our next leader – all those bananas won’t be cheap y’know.
Asked for a comment – once he could be found and cornered – the former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, echoed the former deputy leader’s words saying:
The Labour party’s current – and temporary - financial troubles, which – of course – began in America will soon be over. After my great successes as chancellor, I’m sure that any day now they will come knocking on my door begging me to become treasurer of the party, so I can do for my party what I did for the country…. Yes, any day now… any day now….
Sssh… was that someone knocking on the door…?
Ah….
Anyway….
However, once the Evil Tories have sorted out the country’s financial troubles which – as everyone knows were a direct legacy of the Evil Thatcher she-devil, and nothing at all to do with the former Labour Government – then we in the Labour party will start a campaign calling for state-funding of political parties, so that even though we are no longer in government we can still piss away loads of tax-payer’s money.
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