The Labour party last night accused the Con-Lib coalition government of ‘not playing politics properly’ when it emerged that the coalition were considering plans to stop giving tax-payers money to people who don’t really need it.
As Labour leadership contender, David ‘Bananaman’ Millipede said:
The whole point of being in government – apart from the chauffer-driven cars and people pretending to be interested in everything you say, of course – is to take as much money off the people in tax as you possibly can without provoking riots – like the Evil Tory Thatcher did – and then giving a lot of it back to the people who vote for you.
Now these parents who are rich enough not to need child benefit, and the pensioners who have big enough pensions not to need the winter fuel payouts are just the sort of middle-class, reasonably well-off people who would naturally vote Tory anyway, with a small proportion of those already going senile enough to believe that voting Lib-Dem might be a good idea. So, really, the coalition are just demonstrating that they just do not have a clue how to do politics properly, at all.
So, can I be Prime Minister now please?
However, when asked how a Labour government under his leadership would tackle the deficit, the Millipede replied:
Deficit? What deficit? There is no such thing as this so-called deficit. It is all an Evil Tory lie. The only problem we have in the economy is a slight shortfall because the hard-working people of this country are still not being taxed anywhere near enough.
Why, some figures I had explained to me show that there are people in this country who still manage to keep just over half their earnings, obviously that is far too much, who knows what they will fritter it away upon? When I am Prime Minister we will not rest until we can get our hands on much more of it, to spend on those who vote for us.
Thank you…. Would you like a banana?
No comments:
Post a Comment