New Extreme TV Show

Chewtoy Malodourant is soon to become one of the UK’s most famous celebrities, if his new TV programme takes off as well as  his production company expect. Not since the death of the ludicrously be-shorted antipodean that became famous for poking stroppy wild animals with a stick – they say in their press release – has there been a TV personality willing to do pointless death-defying things in front of the TV camera for no other discernable reason than to annoy the shit out of dumb animals.

In each of the six episodes of the first series of Chewtoy Malodourant – Mad bastard Or What?, Malodourant puts himself purposely in harm’s way so that the jaded commercial TV audience can experience the vicarious thrill of him almost having his head brutally severed from his body to go bloodily bouncing around their giant wide screens in glorious HD quality realityovision.

For example, in episode one, Malodourant goes around several Geordie pubs deliberately spilling pints, and staring at their ‘birds’.

In episode two, Malodourant visits several inner-city ‘social’ housing estates to complain to the residents about them setting fire to broken fridges in their front gardens, and to ask if it is really entirely necessary to dismantle so many cars at once on their driveways.

In the third episode Malodourant calls a teenager a poof in front of the rest of his teenage gang, while loudly disparaging the model of his mobile phone and the unfashionable status of his footwear.

Unfortunately, the production company have admitted that the filming for the rest of the series will have to wait until their presenter has been discharged from hospital. However, they have said – in a further press release that C4 have committed to a further series of Chewtoy Malodourant – Mad bastard Or What?, providing that, at the end of filming this first series, the presenter is still alive to make it.