Google+ A Tangled Rope: UK Coalition Government: The First 100 days

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

UK Coalition Government: The First 100 days

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After the first 100 days of the Conservative- Liberal Democrat government, most people in the UK admitted they were rather disappointed by the coalition’s failure to ‘just get on with it!’

A spokesmaninapub for the British population said:

I mean what happened to this so-called ‘bonfire of the quangos’? I was out there every night, for the first few weeks after they were elected, with my flaming torch waiting for the howling mob to pass by on the way to set fire to the offices of the local Five-A-Day Co-Ordinator, but fuck all happened, so I just used my torch to light the barbeque instead.

I know… I know I shouldn’t do it, but every time I listen to politicians I think ‘this time they can’t just be saying stuff they think we want to hear and really believe they know what they are doing’, but each time I vote I just end up disillusioned and disappointed – It’s worse than having a wank over some internet porn and then discovering it was a ladyboy site… er.. like my mate… er… Steve did once.

There has also been widespread disappointment over the fact that the coalition government has made no move to imprison any of those urgent threats to our national security identified by the readers of mid-market tabloids, such as: illegal immigrants, teenagers, the feckless work-shy layabouts in shell suits, teenage mothers, teenage fathers, teenage jobs, teenage unemployed, teenage teenagers and smug Guardian readers.

As one person who looked at the pictures in the Daily Mail every day said:

This is supposed to be a Conservative government – admittedly with a few of those liberals in it – those Liberals, they all wear suede shoes, y’know what I’m saying? Anyway, what this country needs is a bit more good old fashioned Tory hanging and flogging… the workhouse… send them all back to where they came from… horsewhip the lot of them…. National Service….Why back in the good old days….

Furthermore, a leading political commentator said:

Really, this coalition has been a big disappointment. At the very least we had expected them to start cutting things a big quicker and a bit more than this. Along the lines of a huge sword-wielding horde – something akin to Genghis Khan’s armies – running amok and slashing everything in sight to ribbons, instead we have George Osborne counting the pennies in his purse like some octogenarian spinster paying the milkman.

At this stage in the political cycle I would a have expected them to have, say, the heads of Geldof, Bonio and Sting up on spikes across London bridge as a warning to other celebrity mouths that the days of feel-good naïve platitudes and smug leftie simplistic moralising are well over, but I suppose we’ll have to give them a little bit more time.

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