There were chaotic scenes when the crowd at yesterday afternoon’s World Cup fixture in South Africa were assaulted by an immense swarm of very angry giant wasps, which descended on the crowd and began attacking everyone in sight, seemingly for no reason whatsoever.
The whole crowd fled from the stadium in panic, chased by the immense swarm, which at times blocked out the sun and plunged the whole area around the stadium into a state of semi-twilight for nearly half an hour until the crowd dispersed.
One member of the crowd, after being treated for several stings at the local hospital, said later:
They just came out of nowhere. One minute we were watching the match and then suddenly there were these massive, very pissed off looking, wasps attacking us from everywhere. We didn’t stand a chance, we just panicked and ran!
One of them flew right up my girlfriend’s vuvuzela, and stung her quite badly. The doctors reckon she won’t be blowing my horn for several weeks at least….
Everyone in South Africa was at a lost to explain why the wasps suddenly attacked the crowd for seemingly no reason at all.
However, an expert in Insect Linguistics at the University of Chipping Sodbury later ran the loud humming and buzzing sound made by the many, many hundreds of vuvuzelas being played in the crowd at the match through his Wasp Translator.
He said:
As you know, wasps are psychotic bastards at the best of times, but after I ran the sounds of all those vuvuzelas through my Insect Language Translation Device, that loud humming came out translated as:
‘Come on you stripy bastards, if you think you’re hard enough!’, ‘Who’s the bastard in the yellow and black?’ and ‘You’re going home in a jam jar!’
So, no wonder the wasps kicked off like that.
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