Are You Sitting Comfortably?

Now where shall we begin?

Are you sitting comfortably?

I know I don’t usually ask, after all, I’m sure that by now you have worked out some way of making yourself comfortable, and – in the end – is it really any of my business?

After all, you may – for no doubt valid reasons of your own – prefer to not be comfortable whilst reading the stuff that flows over your computer screen. Perhaps you are the sort of person who likes being uncomfortable for some reason, maybe it helps you stay awake, pay more attention or something of that ilk. If – after all – I and those other people like me who fill your screen with these streams of words day after day after day have gone to the trouble of writing them, then it behoves you somewhat – you may feel – to make sure that you giver them the attention they deserve.

Anyway, if you are still here and you have not wandered off to some other page that make no such bold, impertinent - even, inquiries about your state of comfort, not – indeed - engages in rather peculiar speculation as to why you would seek comfort, or otherwise, whilst scrutinizing these words, in what seems like some subtle, or not quite so subtle attempt to discern whether or not you have a predilection to - shall we say - explore beyond the shorelines of what is regarded as normal sexuality, insomuch as it pertains to webpage perusal.

Anyway, if you feel that this has been too much of an intrusion into what you regard as both private and personal, and beyond what ought to be considered proper behaviour in such a situation as we find ourselves in, all I can say – in my own defence is:

Remember, I still have the negatives, and sworn statements from both of the penguins, and it will soon be time for another payment – in a plain brown envelope, of course, and left in the same hollow tree stump as last time, please.