It was not that obvious at first sight, which is odd when you consider the size of the average bulldozer. But, she had one of those smiles that tend to light up your life, and one of those low-cut tops that somehow seem to rewrite the laws of gravity.
Still, as she said, it was obviously a complete accident that she had both illegally appropriated the aforesaid bulldozer, and then – purely by chance – driven it across her neighbour’s back garden, totally destroying an allegedly over-large hedgerow that had been the cause of some friction between the neighbouring households, including some desultory small-arms fire.
However, the investigating police officers dismissed the neighbour’s suggestion that this assault by bulldozer was an attempted invasion and dismissed his claim that his bulldozer-stealing neighbour had planted a flag of occupation in his rockery, and planned to build defensive trenches and a machine-gun next in an area adjacent to his water feature.
However, following an in-depth investigation of the bulldozer driver over tea and homemade scones, which the lady in question insisted on buttering for the officers whilst leaning over their proffered plates in her gravity-defying top, those officers decided that no further action should be taken and that the neighbour himself should be put under surveillance as a suspected terrorist.
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