Well, if only she’d realised, then perhaps the unfortunate incident with the Member of Parliament and the elk could have been quietly forgotten about and we could have all gone about our business none the wiser.
However, she saw it as her duty to bring the matter to the attention of a public eager to salivate over the untoward doings of our elected representatives, especially when involving inappropriate conduct with wildlife. After all, everyone remembers the media feeding frenzy when the Undersecretary of State for Cabinet Meeting Biscuit Procurement was discovered in his local branch of Ikea with a zebra who later turned out not to be his wife. As for that local government councillor and the walrus, well… we all know about how that ended.
Anyway, the woman – who shall remain nameless, even though everyone knows she is Henrietta Shagruff – heiress to the title of Lady-in-Waiting to the third-in-line-to-the throne’s Official Trollop, a close personal friend of the elk in question.
Consequently, we can only hope that the MP resigns as soon as possible in order to prevent further embarrassment to a political party already languishing in the polls, with a leader less popular than some of the more disfiguring tropical fungal diseases, and that politics in this country can go back to being the usual tedious and inept farce we have come to expect from our political class.
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