Be that as it may – and it may as well – it is not often you see something like that out on the highways and byways of this once-great nation; at least, not during the hours of daylight. Well, not outside the security fences that separates most of us from those who would engage in such activities at the drop of a hat. That is, if they do have a hat to drop at the time, which – considering their state of undress when the incidents have a tendency to occur – is not all that often.
However, once upon a time, back when the world was black and white, there was a propensity for the devotees of football clubs to wear a bobble hat in their team’s colours – possibly even a scarf too. These days, though, such is the general lack of clothing worn by the devotees of this particular pastime that, even dropping a bobble hat would turn the event into an occasion, or one would hope so.
However, such is the nature of all-nude alfresco lamp-post fondling, that even wearing a hat of any kind looks like cheating, and not entering into the spirit of the sport. The sport’s many devotees claim its satisfaction lies in disporting oneself against the lamp-post of one's choice whilst wearing no clothes whatsoever, except perhaps a pair of wellies, or a silk scarf.
Just why the sport’s adherents regard these acts as an exciting – or even an interesting - way of passing the time is shrouded in mystery.
The use of a shroud, mysterious or otherwise - one often feels - would be a better way of undertaking this pastime for most of its adherents, rather than the all-nude version we are forced to witness. Thereby forcing us to muse upon why it is so often the case that those who enjoy removing their clothes in public are the very ones we – the rest of the populace – have no interest in seeing naked.
But then mysteries are an inherent part of the human condition, unlike - at least so often in these cases – a useful quantity of underwear.
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