Health and Safety Outrage

Well, it wasn't as straightforward as we'd hoped, but then again, that sort of thing very rarely is. For, such is the complex world in which our collective contemporary hat-hanging takes place, that what was once straightforward, and caused very little strain to the elbows and knee-joints, is – these days – fraught with all manner of caveats and complications.

Back in our younger days, when the world was black and white and daytime TV was invariably the test card, we had to venture outside. Mainly because fresh air was regarded as a good thing and character-forming. Consequently, we learnt so much about the dangers of the world from running into (sometimes quite literally) its pointier bits. A childhood without scars, scabs and frequent bandaging was regarded as no childhood at all.

Surprisingly enough, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune were not regarded as signs that the world was constructed thus as a way of causing harm to children, or even adults – but as something given and to be lived with despite the occasional catastrophe. Just get up, brush yourself off and wipe the blood off then carry on, rather than look around for someone to sue.

Soon, if this H&S obsession carries on, the rest of the universe will be illegal and we will be banned – in our own interest and for our own safety - from ever touching any of it and then – of course – we will never learn anything, thus becoming the ideal citizens of this new age.