It just so happens, well, sort of…. I don't know why it does that. Maybe it likes you, or maybe it is your warm hands, I don't know. Anyway, I'll just go and get a tissue… or a cloth… er… maybe a mop and bucket would be best.
You must admit though, it does look impressive in a certain light, and from the correct angle.
No?
Oh, well.
But, enough of all that let us talk of other, moister, things. I see from the way you adopt the stance of a Trainee Supermarket Manager, that you are new to these parts. Come on in, take your clothes off and partake of a sheep, a goat, or even a duck or two, if you are of a mind to. There is no need to worry; this is a very informal place. After all, very few of the photographs taken of you and the farmyard animal of your choice will be used for the purposes of blackmail. Then only used in a pure spirit of common siblinghood and for my own personal financial enrichment.
Soon will come The Time of Inadequate Underwear. We, brothers, sisters and ruminants must be ready for that day. We know the tribes of feral Estate Agents are gathering deep in the midst of the jungles just outside Walsall. Soon, only too soon, we will hear their war drums and our local free press will be weighed down with all their advertising.
But, will we be ready?
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