The Plagues

And so it came to pass that in the land of the peoples of the most Holy TV there descended another plague upon their most revered TV schedules. They had, up to then, survived whole plagues of TV genres that had laid waste to their evening’s viewing. There had been plagues of soap operas, plagues of DIY programmes, plagues of ‘Reality’ programmes, plagues of pseudo-documentaries about so-called ordinary life, plagues of alleged celebrities, even a plague of cheap footage garnered from CCTV and police cameras, and many other such devastations of the quiet night on the sofa. 

It was a situation that made even poking about on social web sites, pretending to be interested in the lives of pretend friends, seem to hold out more promise of a fulfilled life. Even though, in the virtual – as opposed to the real - world you rarely got to experience their dubious taste in curtains and the curious head-shapes of their offspring. Even this sad waste of a life seemed preferable to gawping at the inanities that now infested what was once the most Holy TV. 

This, even though they had all proved their devotion to the most Holy TV by making many sacrifices in order to acquire new and expensive TVs, stuffed to the very brim with the latest in gizmotronic wizardry, which therefore should have filled its viewers with awe and wonder, rather than this feeling of disappointment and ennui.

Soon it seemed that the dubious ‘talent’ shows were everywhere, sometimes featuring alleged ‘celebrities’ that no-one had ever heard of , doing things that were alleged to make them seem more real, more human. This was odd, because most of them were famous for playing dress up and pretend in order to pretend to be people who they were not, and some were even politicians… or worse.

Still, though, the people of the land of TV gawpers carried on their worship of the Most Holy Magic Picture Box in the hope that one day, maybe even one day soon, there would be a half-decent murder drama on it that they could actually sit there and enjoy.