Someone Else’s Fault

Well, then… I did warn you that if you kept messing with it like that, one day it would fall off. So, you only have yourself to blame…. That is, unless you can find someone else to blame. After all, it must always be someone else’s fault, mustn’t it? All this despite the fact that it specifically warns against attempting to coat the marmoset with lukewarm tapioca in the instruction leaflet.

Anyway, I’m sure that once the custard has set you’ll be able to come to some agreement with your local trading standards office and the matter may not even reach the courts, especially if you remembered the importance of the blackmail photographs. After all Strip Ludo at such an advanced age is never really going to be that pretty a sight, is it? Especially when they kept losing the dice in the folds of sagging flesh.

Consequently, moving on, I see that the world still exists outside my window. This despite all that the BBC has been telling me of late about how the world is dying and it is all my (and yours, so wipe that smug grin off your face) fault for not wanting to freeze to death in winter or live on a diet of half a manky ‘organic’ carrot once a fortnight.

Still, being mercilessly harangued and patronised in our homes is what we pay the Licence Fee for… I suppose. After all, we don’t seem to get anywhere near as much gratuitous nudity on the TV as we used to, so I don’t know where we’d be if they started putting on programmes we actually wanted to watch.