EU Equality Legislation Extended

Now the donkey may look somewhat askance at the dubious nature of your tax returns, but that is the danger of employing a donkey in your auditing department. However, recent research carried out by the Monkey Auditing Bureau has proved – many say conclusively – that monkeys are – overall – rather good at accountancy, with the obvious exception of the spider monkey, of course.

Since the EU most recent ruling that it is illegal to discriminate against any species of animal when offering employment, there has been a revolution – mostly a quiet revolution except for the howler monkeys that stood for parliament at the last election – in the employment sector. This can be seen especially in the number of rats and other vermin now entering the estate agency profession, something that has boosted the status of estate agents in the eyes of the public, moving them from the bottom of the list of likeable professions. Something similar has happened to journalism, where the actual number of monkeys with typewriters, thanks to new technology, has been diminishing rapidly over the last few decades, with most tabloid journalism nowadays produced by amoebas and other single-celled organisms and other such creatures that lack the higher brain functions.

Of course, those of us with an interest in politics are looking forward to the next general election where it seems – thanks to this new EU legislation - the UK could have its first-ever great bustard as prime minister, instead of at the moment where all three main political parties are all led by tits.