Even then, despite the small problem of the VAT Inspector being secreted amongst the vegetables over in the corner near the wishing well, it is not all that easy to consider how come we are here without the requisite receipts and with one of us caught red-handed holding the badger in a way that is not quite a north-easterly direction. However, since the use of a scientific calculator is expressly forbidden by the rules of Strip Ludo, especially when on a triple underwear score square, therefore we will have little alternative but to take an elderly relative to Nuneaton… yet again.
This time we can only hope that she is too befuddled by the bus timetables to find her own way back… again.
But if we were daring enough to start a sentence with ‘but’, then we would not fear that dread knock on the door in the middle of the night when all we have done is use a slight excess of sellotape on our birthday gift wrapping paper, which is – normally – not a matter for the police.
However, since the latest EU directive on Excess Citizen-Applied Packaging came into force at the beginning of the year, some of us are beginning to fear that we will never fondle the delights of bubble-wrap again in our lifetime.
The sound of slight popping noises is fading away all over Europe.
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