It emerged yesterday that the current Tory Defence Secretary came to the aid of a pregnant woman whilst on a flight from Istanbul to London. Immediately there were demands from left-wing blogs and on Twitter for an urgent investigation into his behaviour.
As one prominent Left-winger said on Twitter:
This isn’t the sort of thing we expect from the Evil Tories. There obviously must be some kind of cover-up.
Speculation continued on Twitter with many of the Left coming to the conclusion that the Evil Tory must have been attempting to either buy, or steal, the woman’s baby so he could eat it.
AS one leftwing blogger, Rainy Sundial, posted on the Leftwing blog Incoherent Gibberish:
We all know that the evil Tories are unreconstructed baby-eaters, and this is just a foretaste of what will happen when the Evil Tories eventually privatise pregnancy so that they can have an unlimited supply of fresh babies for them, the just-as-evil bankers and their Public school cronies to eat.
It’s either that or else he was threatening to throw her out of the plane without a parachute unless she immediately signed up for private health care.
It is an absolute fact – in my mind – that the Evil Tories are forcing through these massive cuts to public services just to make everyone unemployed so that the Evil Tories can force decent ordinary hard-working squeezed-middle people’s to sell the Evil Tories their babies cheaply, just so that the Evil Tories can eat them.
After all, we all know the rich and privileged of this country don’t stay rich by paying over the odds for the babies they want to eat.
A spokesman for the government issued this statement:
We would like to make it clear that the Defence Secretary – a former GP – was asked to come to the aid of a pregnant woman in distress during the flight. We would like to stress that at no time did he make any request to eat the woman’s baby, offer money to buy the baby to eat later, or suggest that she take out private health insurance of any form.
Furthermore, I would lie to stress that David Cameron, Nick Clegg and the rest of the coalition cabinet – since winning the election… er… nearly - have hardly eaten any babies at all.
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