In Case of Civil Unrest

Still, I suppose not that many people these days still use the old-fashioned hand-cranked device for relocating domesticate ruminants to a more secure area in case of civil unrest.

Not only that, I have sometimes been forced to go back to the equally old-fashioned threat of full-frontal first use of the harmonica, even though this country was once signatory to the No First Use of the Harmonica Treaty way back in the dark days of the Cold War when it seem the threat of ever-present balalaika attack would overshadow us all in the free (well, often quite expensive) West.

Anyway, so we had all the sheep in the safe room, just in case some placard-wielding troglodyte insisted on annoying all and sundry with a sense of his (or her) sense of thwarted entitlement, when we realised that one of our sheep was missing.

Of course, with Benjy being a sheep and therefore instinctively inclined to follow any form of crowd or herd, we immediately assumed that the sheep had joined the demonstration and was in there somewhere baa-ing along with the crowd as they claimed some slight diminution of their taxpayer–paid and government- provided privilege was something akin to a major infringement of their human rights.

We were right.

For, later that night, as the news reporter gleefully pointed to the mass ranks of over a couple of dozen ‘protestors’ , we could clearly see Benjy the sheep up on the platform urging them on to greater things and at the same time calling for a complete ban on the use of mint sauce.

The latest word is that Benjy has become a militant activist and now plans the overthrow of western capitalism and mandatory free use of the sheep dip for all workers, each according to their needs.