It was all a bit of an embarrassment really. They hadn’t known what to do with him since the day he’d failed his R.E practical exam. The walking on the water module had been a complete disaster, especially when they had to call the lifeboat out, and the thing with the loaves and the fishes… well, he’d ended up with two slices of white and a tin of pilchards. Although, the water into wine had gone very well, except he’d drunk it all straight off and then called the girl at the next desk a lesbian for refusing to go out with him that evening, threw up all over the invigilator and fallen asleep across his question paper.
All rather embarrassing for the son of a god.
Since then, no-one had dared mention him going into the family business. One of his uncles had suggested they could make him the god of some primitive tribe somewhere, the god of something small: the god of moss or daises or something. The god of something, somewhere where the people wouldn’t expect much and gods only really existed as something to blame for their tribe’s misfortunes.
Another uncle suggested sending him to Valhalla or somewhere like that, somewhere where they’ knock a bit of sense into him’, but his mother didn’t want him falling in with the wrong sort of god, and she refused point blank to send him to her cousin to learn the trade. ‘Not after that business with him turning into a swan… that poor girl,’ she said shaking her head. ‘I just don’t know what he was thinking.’
So, in the end, they found this rather dull blue-green planet out in one of the unfashionable galaxies where the people liked to wander around in the desert claiming they were on speaking terms with all manner of gods. After all, his parents thought, what harm could he do in a place like that?
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