In Quarantine

Sometime during the dark ages of the last century some poor deluded fool came up with the slogan ’everything is politics’. These days, of course, we look upon such ignorant nostrums as something akin to witchcraft, astrology, religion or other such manifestations of puerile nonsense.

As scientific research shows, rather than everything being politics, we now know that nothing is politics and that furthermore it is the duty of every single one of us to do our best to eradicate the curse of politics from this world of ours forevermore.

Politics is – as we now know – a form of mental illness which makes the sufferer believe they know what is wrong with society and – fatally – how they can make it better. Whereas those of us uninfected by the disease of politics know that things are always buggered up like this, in one way or another, and that any attempt to make things better will only end up making things much, much, worse.

So, therefore, if you do happen to come into contact with someone suffering from politics, please make sure you are disinfected, immunised and quarantined until it can be demonstrated you are entirely free from infection. Furthermore, please report all outbreaks of politics you see so that those unfortunate enough to be infected can be put down before the virus spreads to normal people.

Following these simple guidelines should ensure that soon we have an entirely politics-free country and we can all go about our lives safe in the knowledge that no politician is likely to come along and bugger it all up for us.